November 17, 2003
who cut my cheese?
We all have these little foibles. You know, things you do instinctively for no particular reason, and which you can't really explain, but which you just have to do. Like, why is it that if I have a bottle of tonic water, and I don't finish it all at once for some reason, I just have to screw the top on so damned tight that I can't open it the next time? Why is that?? I really don't know, but I do it every time. And I've got rub marks on the tips of my fingers to prove it.
You know what sucks? When there's some person that really annoys you, but who everyone else loves for some reason. There's this one punk kid in my tennis class and I'm going to smack him one of these days. He's always mouthing off, never sits still, never follows directions, is just really annoying. But I noticed this weekend with a shock that whenever he does something that I don't like, everyone else giggles like it's sooo cute. Really. Like he's a damn puppy or something who just crapped on the rug and it's the most darling thing you ever saw.
And he beats me too, so one of these days I just might have to "accidentally" whack him with my racket. (Wonder if they'll giggle at that.)
I've been noticing a trend lately that I can't explain - I'm sitting reading a magazine or watching a game on TV, and an ad comes on for some kind of drug, and they don't tell you what it's for! All of the drug commercials these days are the same - slightly fuzzy, shiny montages of really happy people leading really happy lives. They're all doing stoopid shit like picking flowers or hiking in desert ruins or something, and they're all smiling. BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MEDICINE THAT THEY'RE TAKING? Is it for gas? Bad breath? Hair loss? Itchy feet? None of the ads will tell you - they just say you should ask your doctor if drug x is right for you. Well, why would I take the time to contact a doctor if you won't even take the time to tell me what you do?? In fact, the only thing that you WILL tell me are all of the side effects, which apparently are almost always dry mouth, headaches, and diarrhea, no matter what the drug is. (And apparently people who take sugar pills also have the same problems, which has gotta make you wonder about sugar pills don't it?)
So ... I still don't know what all these different drugs do, but apparently there's an awful lot of people out there who are thirsty and pooping in the woods because of them.
I, uh, well, I guess.
I guess nothing about this one! M.u.s.t.h.a.v.e.
Hm. For all those drug takers.
And I can talk on it while sitting on one of these.
Or here!
And while wearing a pair of these!
Posted by minor at November 17, 2003 06:29 PM